being happy.

Tuesday at Relief Society  Dr. Lynn Johnson, a psychologist and happiness expert (I guess they do exist!) spoke to us. He was hilarious and very frank with us.  

Here are a few points that really resonated with me, and want to share, if you don't mind! 

1. Bad is stronger than good. You are more likely to remember a bad experience that you have as opposed to a positive one. I'll always remember the one roommate that was mean to me clear as day, but I can't even remember the names of the nice girls I lived with in my first apartment (besides you, Sarah!). Which leads me to...

2.  Turning your thoughts positive. Studies have shown that most people have a 3-1 ratio of negative to  positive thoughts. Seriously! For every negative thought you have, think of three positive thoughts to combat it. This has already affected my thoughts a lot (especially during my commute.)

3. Broaden & deepen. When you are happy, inquisitive and interested in others, you will broaden your horizon of friends, and you'll also be able to establish deeper and long-lasting relationships with these people. Don't forget to always be inquisitive about those who you have relationships with!

just some things.

Honestly this has been one heck of a year for me already. I’ve had four tickets (only one for speeding), the whole IRS debacle with my ex, there was even a problem with my gym membership when I renewed and I had to pay extra money for someone else’s mistake. Story of my life! I can really get down on myself & think about how I think I’m picked on & how I rarely get what I want the first time. I know that sounds childish but I feel like a lot of things I’ve wanted in life I’m not able to achieve, or have achieved it & it blew up in my face (ahem my marriage)... I’m not a good student when it comes to math & it’s been my last class to finish my associates for 2 semesters now. I just feel behind. I’ve had a lot of anxiety lately because of all of the above, plus other uncertainties in my life. Where is my life going? What is my future? I know, deep. But these things can keep me up in the night. PS. I'm NOT talking about my relationship w/ Tyler, everybody relax.

One lesson I think I’m learning is that I have to face my fears & confront them full on instead of avoiding them at all costs like I usually do. I am scared of disappointing people or having them get mad at me so I like to just skirt around issues for as long as possible. That's one reason I was married for as long as I was. I am getting better at confronting issues that arise, now especially since hiding from them has not done me much good.


This isn't to say I'm not grateful for what I have, I am! I just feel like I'm ready for my turn. Anytime now. 

And that was a big rambling thought.

INSTA LOVE

// a walk with Roxy //

// one of my favorite thrifted mugs //

// new fabric //

// hanging out by my new self-made art //

// giving my roots one last photo before I went to the salon //

Isn't it weird to look at random pictures and sometimes it doesn't even really depict what's been going on in normal life? 

Thats why there are no pictures of me crying to the IRS agent saying "It isn't fair!" In regards to an audit of my 2008 taxes (in which the audit wasn't even on my income(I was married at the time), but somehow I'm paying?! $#!* Luckily I'm getting it figured out). 

Or any pictures of me oversleeping almost every day last week and then applying my make up in the car. Don't worry I reserve it for red lights! 

Or any pictures of my kitchen sink full of dishes from yesterday - After a full day of work and class the last thing I want to do is clean! 

Then again, we take pictures to remember the happy moments and to document the little things that make us happy.

And it helps!

Instagram is available on Android (in case you didn't know)!

 Hooray for everyone, Instagram changes your life. 

Find me! @andreakj

A CRAFT & A THOUGHT

// Craft night is becoming just as much about the food as it is the crafts.//

// My craft. lyrics from the popular fun. song. I'll probably be sick of it soon. //

Craft nights are so FUN. I mean for the food alone, it's well worth your time. And it doesn't really matter what your craft is. If you need to paint your nails or write a thank you note, that counts.

In other news I am feeling happy today. In general I'm a very happy person, but lately my days have been overshadowed by some sort of anxiety. Math tests, work, bills... just the regulars. This morning I woke up though and knew that all I can do is my best and leave the rest to the Man Upstairs. 

Have a great Wednesday!

Just the things.

are you guys sitting around wondering about all of the intimate details of my life?

does andrea have diet coke on tap 24/7?

did andrea contract a mysterious rash from Lagoona beach?

is andrea way brave by buying a groupon for a brazilian wax?

i know. calm down!

i will tell you the things.

I got a new job! I am really excited about it. I'm also nervous and a bit anxious. There's always an adjustment period when you start a new job where you feel like the idiot. 

"how do i answer this phone?"

I've loved a lot of things  that i will miss about my current job, especially my coworkers. 

This new gig will be less stressful, so much better for my school schedule and my sanity. I'm going to be like joan on madmen. Secretary extraordinaire.

I'm moving into a house with two of my friends, cath & amy. Eeep! I am really excited about this.

1. Living with hilarious and crafty girfs. Yes being crafty is a plus. Ha!

2. No more apartment living(a million exclamation points)

3. new carpet. i had to put it on there.

4. living really close to the 7-11. 

I have a weird affinity for that place. slim jims. nachos. diet coke. 

tip: don't squeeze the slim jims, or the fat tubes will come out.

I said that I wouldn't leave my apartment til I was swept away by a man. 

But lets get real. I couldn't resist this.

Maybe I am weird, but I like change. Gets me all out of my comfort zone. real loosy goosy. 

it is good to learn how to adapt because YOU WILL HAVE TO.

now you know all the things. 

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

the news.

i love to text/call/inform tyler with the words "I have news!" followed by important & impertinent facts.

"I have news! Michelle Money(crazy bachelor lady) is my regional managers next door neighbor!"

"I have news! I just downloaded the speed card game app on my phone!"

"I have news! Michelle Money used to do my friend at book club's hair!"

"I have news! I just updated my Netflix Queue!"

things of this vein. i love making special announcements about my super special day. and i know he especially appreciates it.

can you guess what time it is? NOT tool time.

HINTS:

I have eaten a (big) bag of potato chips.

I purchased a jar of nacho cheese. and ate it all.

I have consumed unthinkable amounts of diet coke.

I have been lazy.

I have been hate talking to myself. for being lazy.

I am secretly ticked off at EVERYONE. for being idiots. (it's not me, it's you)

I want to punch my blog. for being ugly.

I had a mini mental breakdown in a series of text messages. (that was embarrassing to read an hour later... oy.)

YUP.

Catch you on the flip side.

do you like nice conversations?

the following is a text message conversation I had with my mom this morning

mom: you do not have driving privileges today

me: me?

mom: you left late

me: it's Andrea! am i still being punished?

mom: oops! sorry.

me: good luck:)

mom: i think i'll eat some chips and go back to bed.

obviously she thought she was texting my high school age brother:) my mom is hilarious, i've been laughing about it all day! 2 reasons: 1-it brought back lots of fun memories & 2- my parents didn't start witholding driving privileges for being late to school until after i graduated(thank goodness because i never would have had a car). good times.

love you mom!! xoxo

letter to the editor

yeah, yeah Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. I'll post about that later. But FIRST: I need to write about something of great importance.

DRESS CODE. ewww I hate that phrase!!

A few months ago I found out that my company would be enforcing a new dress code as of 01/01/11. It consists of the following:

-white button up shirt with collar
-black button up shirt with collar
-you may wear a cardigan but it has to be plain AND the same color as your shirt
-tan, black & gray bottoms-no pattern, not even pinstripes!
Sick. The worst part of it all is, we have to coordinate what we're wearing with the office! "Mondays and Wednesdays we can wear a white shirt with tan pants, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays we can wear a black shirt with gray pants! Hooray!!"

Seriously I am revolting right now. My first actual thought was, I need to find a new job. I love being able to express myself through fashion, and seeing other personalities through it as well. I love color!! If this happened to me in high school I know I'd be covered in piercings with a Mohawk just to show my rebellion....

Anyway, I've never written a letter of complaint about anything to anyone, but I can't sit idly by whilst my floral print skirts are thrown to the wind. Here it is, the letter I wrote to the owners of my property...

I have one major dissatisfaction with this job and that is the new dress code of 2011. With such a limited palette of color to choose from, and also the enforcement of coordinating tops and bottoms with office staff, I feel like my freedom of expression of personality has gone out the window.
The only places I can think of that dress similarly would be fast food restaurants, gas stations and Wal-Mart. I suppose if we are to be classified with such places where we are to be easily forgotten by blending into the wall with our bland attire, then the new dress code is just the ticket. I find it disheartening and confusing that in a world full of color we are resigned to be in black and white. Here's to innovation and forward thinking!
It is sad that the employees that have abused the previous dress code probably didn't receive any discipline or even a discussion about their inappropriate attire. Instead everyone has been punished to look like we came out of a mass produced factory.



HA!!! What do you think about that?

Registration? I don't think so.

Who needs registration when you can go 7 months without it, get pulled over and talk your way out of a ticket(sometimes it pays to blame divorce)? I waited 3 months after that to get my sticker, and it was such a relief to not be driving a car at the risk of being impounded if I got pulled over again. I stopped looking over my shoulder and exiting the freeway if I saw Highway Patrol for 2 whole months!

Alas, we are back at square one, and my car has yet to be registered-it expired 09.30. Wonder how long I can go this time?

funny thoughts

Not that I'm the best person to be doling out life advice to everyone, but if there's one thing that's helped me keep my chin up during some not-so-easy times, it's having a fall-back funny thought. No matter what, it will always make me smile.

I have a couple:

1-I remember the time I got stuck in a folding chair(I was like 7, give me a break), and was rolling around the family room floor downstairs trying to get out of it. I was screaming and crying for my mom to come rescue me! I heard her fly down the stairs and enter the family room, only to collapse on the couch in a hysterical fit of laughter! She barely had enough strength to get me out of the thing, but once she did I know that I gave her the silent treatment for at least 15 minutes.

2- (please don't delete me as a friend for this) When I was 9 I imagined about how hilarious it would be for a big giant horse to have a human-sized bum, just like a little jutted out bum. yes, I still think that's funny. and no, I can't explain it.

Please tell me the things that can always put a smile on your face. I would love it.

why i'm totally jeal of married people

my Grandma & Grandpa Hicken at Maeci's baptism, Feb 2009

I remember being married(vaguely-weird how that happens). I remember that it was not good. I remember keeping so much to myself, not sharing my feelings and fears of my future with even my mom, until I basically exploded. Turns out, I’m pretty good at hiding things. It might even be a talent.

blah, blah, de blah.

Anyway, all of my feelings and fears are for another post(or a book). What I really feel like writing about is my hope and faith in marriage. Guess what everybody? I still want to be married someday!

Why? I know a lot of people that have been married before, and after that went to hell in a handbasket(sorry mom, i love that phrase!), they have sworn it off forever like the plague!

I will tell you why. It’s because of all of the wonderful examples of happy marriages in my life, and I have seen the joy and fulfillment these people experience through being married. They all have issues and struggles, I’m sure. But you can tell a lot about a couple by the way they treat each other in front of other people-friends, family. I’ve paid attention. I’m watching YOU!

The first couples that come to my mind are my Grandma & Grandpa Hicken, and my own amazing parents. I have seen both couples have “discussions”(mom always said, “we’re not fighting, we’re having a discussion”) or disagreements, and the way they treat each other during these times of stress is when the true colors of marriage really shine! My grandpa uses his sense of humor to diffuse situations, and my dad... well my dad is the most patient man I know, and it takes quite a bit to get him riled up... Side note 1: I just realized that it is the men in both of the marriages keeping it easy... us women have a lot more hormones to sort out!

Along with my grandparents & parents, I also look to all of my seriously awesome aunts, uncles and friends to observe their marriages and learn some little lessons I may have missed out on the first go around. Side note 2: my stomach is being so loud right now... must have been the Chinese. I am so happy I’m not sitting in class. Or church...

Anyway, THANK YOU, all my married examples, for helping me keep my faith in marriage. I know that it can be a wonderful blessing in life, and doesn’t have to be filled with fear, anger, and hurtful words. Instead it can be filled with encouragement, kindness and laughter.

I simply cannot end the post without also stating that a large portion of my faith in marriage remains with my Heavenly Father and his plan for me. A favorite quote pops into my head frequently:

“Come what may, and love it”-Joseph B. Wirthlin

"That which is for you, will not pass you by"-unknown

I promise I don’t write things about my past experience with marriage for pity, but rather for what it is-something that I have experienced, learning from that and also trying to organize my feelings about it so that I may look to the future with my hope & faith secure!

Thanks for reading my random thoughts...

the help i need from you!

current schedule
school: 11 credits, classes at 8 am, 1 pm, and online

work: M-F 9 am-6 pm

homework, making dinner and time to breathe(translation: usually 20 minutes worth of watching arrested development with mr. meeeller): 7 pm-10 pm(this is my ideal "bedtime"...i know I'm ancient!)
3 hours is not much time considering it usually takes me 2 hours to finish my math homework.

other things i want/need to cram into these 3 hour increments:

reading
spending more time with friends
updating this blog
church callings
sewing
gym
cleaning
laundry(ugh!)
"beautifying"-sounds silly but i want to have my nails painted, legs shaved, eyebrows waxed, and hair done(currently i am lacking in all of these areas!)


My dilemma: isn't it obvious? i want time to be able to do more than just the basics of work, school & eating.

My solution: a combination of YOUR ideas! I know there are loads of hot little ladies running around blogland that are probably a lot busier than I, and still manage to get it all done!

so ladies, I want to know: what works for you?

Are you going to tell me I have to go to sleep at midnight and get up at 5 am?

Orchestration

Tyler took me to the Symphony tonight(oh how I LOVE the symphony) at Abravanel Hall. Whilst the music is playing I love to just let my mind wander and let the music direct my thoughts. The entire symphony was dedicated to the 4th of July-a patriotic tribute, so you can imagine, the music was very powerful as it ebbed and flowed throughout the concert....

As I listened to the music, its sound was absolutely perfect. I started thinking that we(you and me) are all in a symphony, and the Lord is the composer and conductor of our songs. He orchestrates everything perfectly. Even during the minor(flat) parts of the composition when it seems straining and wrong, the major parts come in and resolve everything, letting us know that it was worth it to play through the strain to have the harmony and grand finale that we all desire.

He really knows what He's doing. This is one seriously beautiful symphony.

friend or foe? You be the judge

I’m a little embarrassed by writing this post, because I keep thinking WWJD(i know, i know...)? But to what extent do I lend my hand? I am in need of your expertise and wisdom.

there’s a girl that lives at the property I work at that thinks I’m pretty cool. well hey, who can argue with someone that thinks you’re pretty cool? the only problem is, it’s a leeettle bit out of control. I mean it has gone from shopping at the exact same stores as i do, dying her hair the same color as mine(even cut bangs!) and traded in her acrylic nails for painted ones...like mine. She comes and sits at my office desk for an hour at a time, at least three times a day, not talking much, but mostly staring. this has gone on for almost a year, since she asked me my height and weight-it turns out, we are...THE SAME!!

ok so I promise I’m not saying this to toot my own horn because I think that I really am as awesome as she thinks I am. But I am in the shambles about the situation! It is flattering, creepy and on top of that I feel the responsibility to be her friend. I’ve never had to reject a friend request(besides the creeps on facebook) before. I don’t know if she’s crazy or if she just desperately needs a friend. I have always felt that I shouldn’t turn down a person in need, but then again I’ve never been so exhausted from a relationship that’s not even a real friendship! She has asked for my number, to hang out and to become friends on facebook a few times and I have kindly deflected the situation. This has seriously been weighing on my mind, though. Am I being selfish and rude and hurtful? Am I the friend that she needs right now? Am I going to be handing in my sanity card if I give her my digits? Am I worried that she is just going to invade my whole life(...yes)?

The question I am asking you, do I give her my contact info or not?

This is how I feel today.

The reason being- I was on time to work today! For some of you over-acheivers, or just acheivers for that matter, this might not seem like such a big deal to you. But I am a habitually late person. When I was born I was 3 weeks late. In high school I had to work/pay off numerous citizenship U's. My average late time is 7 minutes. It is in my blood.

I decided that since I am 23 years old it is about time to be on time! Last month I made it a goal to be to work on time. I did not succeed ONCE (Mom, I know you're shaking your head right now). But after 7 weeks of rushing and setting 100 alarms for the morning, I was in the office on the dot at 9 am! I deserve a treat!

How am I still here??

At Alyson's dance recital

With this big D saga only having been going on for about a month and a half, I have experienced many many things that I never thought I would. Some of them not so pleasant...like moving into an apartment, splitting up belongings, and filing for the big D. Oh wait, let's not forget about attending a singles ward once again!

But there are also things that have happened that I wouldn't trade anything in the world for. 

The love I have felt from my Heavenly Father. I'm not too big on blogging the spiritual things, but I would not be sane if I didn't feel his spirit and love so close like I have been. 

The support of my family. Despite the hour commute, it was the greatest feeling to go home. My parents have been rockstars in this situation and are behind me 100%. My brothers are especially nice and always make sure to give me the extra hug. Kenny wrote me the absolute sweetest letter from Canada and it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Of course, Alyson just loves me and will be my BFF if I will do her hair or paint her nails. 

The support and love from my friends. HOLY COW! I was amazed and still am about all of the people that have rallied around me and have been there for me. Hardly anyone called to get the nitty gritty details, Most would just send a message or call and say that they were thinking about me and let me know that they cared. I know that there is some sort of saying that says when the tough times come, you find out who your real friends are. I have been pleasantly surprised about how many friends I have. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Aside from these long lasting fulfilling things, there are a few other treasures that truly carried me through my first couple weeks.

Ahem.

SHOES

VACATION

Lady GaGa. The Fame.

Andy Samberg

The treats. Oh the treats.

Good combination if you're looking for any healing in your life!

A bubble gum moment

Welcome to my new blog. The title, stilettos and bubblegum came to me for a couple reasons. If you are reading this blog, you know that I'm getting the big D. Divorce. I take it seriously personally, but in public I make jokes and try to pass it off pretty lightly. I'm not sure if that's what is healthy or right, but it's just what gets me through the days. The big D is actually the best thing for me and I know that from the bottom of my heart....

More about that later. Stilettos and bubblegum. two of my favorite things! Also what they represent-stilettos are sophisticated, saucy, have the ability to make me feel like my life is worth living (slight exaggeration),and represent the journey that I'm about to embark on-once again, but that's neither here nor there. 

The bubblegum represents the child in me, blowing bubbles like there's no tomorrow while playing at the park or swimming at the local pool. 

I feel like stilettos and bubblegum are a good portrayal of who I am at the moment and how I feel from day to day... one day having to be grown up dealing with all of this heavy mush, the next sleeping in the guest room at my parents house, knowing that I'm still the kid, still taken care of and loved no matter what!

Welcome to stilettos and bubblegum.