Wednesday, February 9, 2011

i'm not stalker-friendly

long story short:

i was newly single, summer 2009.

thought i needed to give my digits to everyone.

mike came in to the buckle, asked for my #.

why not, he's seems decent.

3 hours later, i regretted that decision.

blowing up my phone with calls, texts, voicemails... I instantly decide i will never hang out with him.

he continues to text me every couple weeks "let's go get drinks" "come to temple square with me and my family" "let me take you on a walk" "when can i see your cute butt?" to the first couple i kindly declined. after that, i stopped responding all together.

August 2009

he comes into the buckle. asks to talk to me alone. i show him to the belt section of the store. he says "i'm not crazy or stalking you, i just really want to get to know you, blah blah blah". I say "sorry, i have a boyfriend" he says "well if you ever want to go to lunch, just let me know, the ball's in your court". ok great, i'll never talk to you again!

dun, dun, dun...

Christmas 2009. I am working at an apartment complex. christmas eve eve i get a call from my pal Cat. she is scream/laughing hysterically. "crazy mike came in and dropped off a card for you". i make her open it & read it to me over the phone. she has to pull over on the freeway to mentally prepare herself.

The letter reads...
(editor's note: i did not make any spelling corrections. or add in the smiley faces.)

Hey Andrea :)

your probably thinking that this guys nut's but i just wanted to show you that i'm the real deal and seriously have never felt the way i did when i first met you, about anyone(underlined 3 times). you just have the most amazing spark and light in your eye's, I had to give this one more try!! Look(with eyeballs in the o's), you are freaking amazing to me in everyway. I know we all look in the mirror sometimes and see our drawbacks or faults, but to me you really are perfect. I'm not crazy, in LaLa land, or at all desperate; I would just really like to get to know you and maybe take a walk. Now I don't care if you have a boyfriend just as long as your not married yet @ least want you as my friend :). K so I'm rambling now but it's Christmas! yeah and i bought you a little gift, not as a bribe or a guilt trip but just to say I really really do think you are the most special girl I've ever met. I've gone to that dang buckle store for the past 5 years and have always thought this way. one time you helped me order a belt in my size and I thought my heart was going to explode! But when i saw your wedding ring, this was like 3 years ago, "it killed me", but now your not and all i want for christmas is a date or even lunch with you cutie. if you don't feel this @ all I'll quit bothering you and wish ya the best, but i want you to know i'm trying my butt off here, trying not to be overbearing, but suddle. so you gave me your #6 months or so ago and don't know how i fell out of the game after our first few text. excuse my handwritting it sucks but here's a little card and a fun gift for the sweetest, hottest, perfect girl i've ever met!!! i so feel like this is the movie serendipity! if you haven't seen it you have to watch it!!



Ps Text me and let me know you got this

Serendipity? Really?

AND! and, the gift card is from Abercrombie & Fitch. which is weird because i worked at the buckle for 5 years, why would you get me something from a teeny bopper store? anyway, besides the point. Cat & I look up the amount online & it. is. for. $200. $200!! that is out of control.

to wrap up this long story short made longer again:

i get into a texting war with him

"thanks, i can't accept the gift, leave me alone"

"how do you know you don't want to marry me?"

"i don't know you and I'm engaged (slight lie)"

"give me a chance"

"no! leave me alone"

and so on and so forth.

he leaves me alone for the most part. He did send me a text last february asking if he could buy me a birthday gift. i didn't respond. He also sent me another text last week asking when my birthday was again. i have 3 of his numbers saved. mike, stalker mike, and DO NOT ANSWER.

THE END.. or is it?

ps. i just spent the gift card 3 weeks ago on some sweats & hoodies. tried to take the giant FITCH off of everything, but now my sweatpants just say ITCH. it's funny.

pps. hopefully this goes without saying, but this is not a self-gratification post. just want to share my crazy stories!


  1. HAHA. I should not have read this at work because I was literally laughing out loud- loud. What a total creep-o. That card is icing on the cake, seriously. Where do these people come from. I wish you worked at the buckle so I could experience your awesome belt ordering ways...

  2. Oh yes, this is a good one! OH the joys of the men who think you are a goddess yet they are only mega creeps. Heck, at least they make for killer stories!

    I just hope he doesn't ever find out where you live. Eek!

  3. Hahaha. That letter is such garbage and so funny. $200 dollars to abercrombie and fitch. Awesome.

  4. this is hilarious!!! i enjoyed reading it. some people never get the point

  5. This made my night! so funny U told me about this guy but getting to read the letter put the story on a whole other level!! hahaha

  6. hahahaha he texted you AGAIN? what on EARTH?! andrea let's not forget that, when he came to deliver that christmas card, he was also flirting heavily with jc. hmmmm... i still vote you change your phone number.

  7. LOL! I never had anything this bad happen to me but I've had those texts where you NEVER respond but yet they keep sending them.. WHY to guys do that?!? haha.. Glad your safe though from your stalker.. for now

  8. OH...MY...GOSH!!! You have got to be kidding!!! What a serious weirdo! "I'm not desperate?" Really?? Really??? Wow....that's all I have to say.


You're so sweet to leave me a li'l message.