Thinking about all the schools getting out for the summer brought up dusty, fond memories of getting my yearbook and having it signed by friends and crushes that I desperately hoped would call me over the summer(desperately is not an exaggeration)... Well I don’t get yearbooks anymore :(. So I’ve created my own, from the apartment complex that I work at.... Here is just a taste of the “student body”.
2009-2010 yearbook at my property
Susan: my favorite resident. no teeth. announces weather 5 times daily. But it’s always the same weather report; “It might rain!” loves pepsi. pushes baby(doll) in stroller around property. smokes like a chimney.
toothless travis*: had unsuccessful attempt at suicide with a gun in an Arby’s(after his marriage of 13 days ended), he missed completely. That was enough to claim disability, but don’t let that fool you. he is smart enough to work the system. Your taxes at work people. Can be found stalking the Jazz players daily, rapping, and roaming Redwood Road.
tina: meanest resident ever(has mental capacity of 6 year old though, is that a pass?). smokes like a chimney. Demands I make her coffee daily. DEMANDS it.flips her neighbors off and steals their ups packages-don’t worry she always leaves a paper trail back to her apartment
porn star: not sure of the name because that’s what he calls himself. he asked us if we recognized him when he moved in from his “work”. no.... and for the record, there’s no way he would ever be a porn star. smells like an entire factory of smoke butts.
Todd & Troy: brothers. they have ridiculous fights with each other daily. both obsessed with hannah montana and any other disney teeny bopper star. the stinkiest residents, besides....
Richard: semi normal, really stinky. has some left over skin from his stomach that he stuffs into one pant leg, and it hangs down to his knee. That is a fact. We asked him about it.
*names may or may not have been changed
And there you have it. the class of 2010. but there is no graduation, this will go on for years!
**I love my job, and I really do love the residents(even Tina). It’s what makes daily life exciting!**